Yoga...A Journey

At Durga’s Den, the bell at the Gazebo rings at 5:45 AM every morning. The tenants of the cabins stir and groan and pull themselves out of bed. The cabin at the top of the hill overlooks the city of Ocho Rios. The buildings below look like match boxes when they are not shrouded by fog. One tenant of this cabin looks at her clock every morning, wondering how she is still managing to lumber out of bed and down to the Stone House every day by 6:00. She pulls on her workout shorts and stumbles down the hill, gingerly stepping the path which is littered with loose stones. She trudges up the steps to the stone house, a two story building whose walls are a light stone, grouted together with cement. The mats are laid out on the mahogany colored wood floors. She goes to her mat and waits silently for the rest of the tenants to sleepily arrive and navigate to their respective mats.

Meditation: Two mats to my left a thirteen year old boy is fidgeting. Behind me, someone is scratching mosquito bites. I struggle to keep my eyes closed and block out the everything that is not the heart shakra. Focus on the shakra. A rooster croaks out his  “cockle doodle doooo” but it comes out sounding more like “rauuuckk raauuck raauck raaaaoooooo”! The dogs start yapping outside the building, barking back to dogs down the hill. Focus, focus, focus.

Every meditation is a struggle to ‘center’ my thoughts and clear my mind, and I seriously don’t even know what that means. My brain is always thinking, and turning that off just doesn’t make sense to me. I am finding that this type of meditation doesn’t work so well for me. I’ve meditated in other ways in the past, and I think I’m better off sticking to those.

Yoga: Sun salutations. Rise up, stretch to the sky, bend at the waist, right knee back, push hips down and head up, left foot back into plank, knees to the floor, chest to the floor, rise up in cobra, curl your toes and push you behind to the sky, right foot forward between your hands, left foot forward between your hands, fold up, inhale, exhale, repeat on left side.

Doing this entire process over and over again wears on my patience. I find myself bored, even if I am getting better at the actual movements and poses. Find the patience to carry on.

I feel myself getting stronger in my core, I can hold myself up in ways I couldn’t ten days ago. I am more flexible. My body feels good. Is this something to continue even though I dislike actually doing it?

Relaxation: I love relaxation on my mat. My body melts into the ground, my mind clears...maybe meditation works better for me laying down? Breathe in, breathe out. Relax my toes, ankles, knees, etc. all the way up to my face. I feel at peace.

Yoga every morning has been a journey for me. Some days it’s difficult to find the strength and the motivation to do just one more pose. Sometimes on those same days though, I leave the stone house standing high and feeling open to the world. Every day I find a new strength and feel like I’m making progress. Is this something I may want to continue at home? Perhaps. I still can’t be tempted into headstands, but I’m open to the benefits of yoga now.

~Melissa Peterson